


Day 9: Mistletoe

by Rellwen



Series: Advent Challenge 2015 [8]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Also kinda 'everybody loves', Crack, M/M, Mistletoe, Shenanigans, Sort of a 'five times' fic, WHY DO SO MANY DECEPTICONS HAVE NO MOUTHS?, except its not everybody, except its only three
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-06 22:36:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5433344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rellwen/pseuds/Rellwen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Knock Out learns about mistletoe. He decides to get Breakdown under the mistletoe and launches multiple plans to achieve his goals. Unfortunately Murphy's law is strong on the nemesis today and all his best laid plans go awry</p>
<p>AKA: The four times KO gets the wrong person under the mistletoe and the one time he gets Breakdown.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Day 9: Mistletoe

**Author's Note:**

> Had a really hard time with this considering most of the decepticons don’t even have mouths >:|

The first time Knock Out learned about mistletoe was late one night in the festivity center.  The little cluster of leaves was hung high enough to provide clearance for the taller mechs. So he couldn’t see it all too well. Aside from the strange positioning it appeared to be nothing more than another type of festive decoration, so Knock Out disregarded it. He played some games, socialized, let himself get talked into trying some of the strange spiced concoction they called ‘oil nog’, and above all snooped for good gift ideas.

 

Later in the evening found Knock Out standing on a chair, attempting to inspect the sphere of greenery hanging from the ceiling. He had a datapad on local flora in his hand. He held the image up next to the leaves before shaking his head and swiping to the next plant.

 

“What exactly are you doing Knock Out?”

 

Ah, he’d know that condescending drawl anywhere, “Commander! How are you?” Knock Out spun precariously on the chair, nearly toppling over. “I’m attempting to identify this plant.”

 

Starscream arched an optic ridge, “Did it not occur to you to ask someone?”

 

A lopsided smile crept its way onto Knock Out’s face even as he responded, “Great idea!” He made a show of looking around from his perch, “Say, Commander Starscream, fancy seeing you here. Do you happen to know what this leafy thing is?” He pointed up tapping on the little ball of foliage.

 

Reading a seeker was an easy thing to do if one took the time to learn. Luckily - or unfortunately, as the case may be - Knock Out’s profession gave him plenty of contact with the seeker frames on board. He’d picked up quite a lot of their body language. As such Knock Out knew Starscream felt humorous by the flick of his wings even before the mech said anything. “Dear doctor, did you miss the memo?” he purred optics bright with mischief.

 

“Looks like it.” What did he miss? What did he miss? Star looked way too smug for it to not be interesting, “Care to share?”

 

Starscream leaned in conspiratorially and Knock Out found himself leaning in a little despite himself. It felt sort of foreign, looking down at the mech.  It was like their heights were reversed from usual. “That plant is called mistletoe. It’s a parasitic plant from earth.” He explained, wings swept lower than usual with a strange cant to them Knock Out didn’t recognise, “Traditionally, around this time of year, people hang up sprigs of the plant and anyone caught under it are fair game to kiss.”

 

The red mech barely had time for the words to sink in before he felt clawed fingers hook into his chest plating and pull him down. When their lips met Knock Out’s optics blew wide in surprise. He brought a hand up to catch his balance on the seeker’s shoulder guard.

 

They stayed like that for a moment. Knock Out marveled at the feel of Starscream’s soft lip plates on his own, and how the seeker’s plating was still flawless even this close. They separated slowly.

 

Knock Out watched as Starscream flashed him a coy smile before sauntering off.

 

What kind of cockamamie tradition was this?

 

\---

 

It wasn’t until later that Knock Out had the epiphany to use the little sprig to his advantage. He ended up staying awake long into the night cycle plotting the best way to lure breakdown under the mistletoe.

 

\---

 

Attempt 1: Hallway Intercept

 

Knock Out loitered around in corridor C. Standing just out of sight behind a door frame. He checked his chronometer again and vented impatiently.  Knock Out dared a peek through the door he stood beside.

 

Nothing. Where was he?

 

Heavy footsteps rang out down the other hall and the medic scrambled back to his ready position. His plan was going perfectly. Breakdown took this route every day to get to the medbay around this time. Knock Out had made up some excuse to look for the big blue mech and proceeded to camp out here. He glanced up at the little sprig of mistletoe in the doorway as if checking it hadn’t moved.

 

When the footsteps drew close enough Knock Out made as if he were casually strolling through in a not-at-all staged way.

 

Only to bump face first into Shockwave.

 

“agh!” the red mech sprang back to check for paint damage, “ What are you doing here?” He demanded.

 

“My laboratory is located in this corridor.” Shockwave replied

 

Oh. Right. Knock Out had forgotten that. He was about to snap a witty remark when he caught the purple mech eyeballing the mistletoe. “Oh, you can just ignore that.”

 

Shockwave shook his head,“The tradition dictates that any two individuals below the mistletoe simultaneously must share a kiss.”

 

“You don’t even have a face!” Knock Out protested waving his arms dramatically.

 

“When either party is incapable or unwilling to complete the task a kiss on the cheek is often deemed acceptable.”

 

Knock Out wanted to point out that the cheek is part of the face Shockwave didn’t have, but held his tongue. Instead, he stepped forward and up onto the tips of his pedes. The purple mech had the same obstructive chest structure that breakdown had, so Knock Out placed one small hand on top of the protrusion and pushed down gently. He was surprisingly warm under his servo. When Shockwave was angled properly the medic leaned up and against the larger bot and planted a chaste kiss a few inches in front of his audial sensors.

 

\---

 

Attempt 2: Playing the Short Card

 

Back in the medbay Knockout arrived to find Breakdown reading in his chair and the usual crowd of - Knock out did a quick headcount - six vehicons sat around the table in the corner.

 

The medic milled about the room for a breem or so before covertly hanging up a little piece of mistletoe above a tall shelf with the creative use of magnets and a well placed throw.

 

He moved to sit at his desk for what felt like a non suspicious amount of time before heading back over to the shelf. The medic made a show of reaching for something on the top shelf. Standing on his pede tips, extending his arm so far he had to lean on the shelf to keep his balance he grunted softly with the effort.

 

Knock Out felt warmth at his back then an arm reached over his shoulder and easily grabbed the item he was reaching for. Plastering his most devastating grin on he spun around on the spot.

 

The medic could only blink owlishly as Soundwave, not Breakdown, casually handed him the device from the shelf. His gaze shot up to the mistletoe and back again quickly wondering if the other mech had noticed it.

 

Soundwave followed his gaze. For a nanoklik he didn’t move. Then slowly the visor turned back on Knock Out. The slender mech reached into his subspace and pulled out a small object, offering it to Knock Out.

 

Not knowing what else to do Knock Out accepted it. It was small, and roughly cone shaped wrapped in shiny silver foil with a little paper sticking out the top. Knock Out magnified his optic input to read the tiny word “Hershey’s” stamped in light blue lettering. He looked back up to Soundwave uncomprehending, “Uhh, Thank you.”

 

Soundwave flashed a little smiley face emoticon before calmly as ever walking out of the medbay.

 

A few moments passed, “Wait, why was he even here?”

 

\---

 

Attempt 3: Rigging the chair

 

Alright, seriously this time had to work. It was fool proof! Nobody visited the medbay after the shift change. Everyone went down to the festivity center after their evening energon and didn’t come back to haunt the medbay until some time the following morning. Breakdown always liked that time of day best to sit in his chair with the soft glow of the tree and his datapad to keep him company.

 

It was perfect. And for real this time, Knock Out had moved the magnetized mistletoe to above Breakdown’s beloved chair while everyone was out getting their energon. Then he went to have his own, sipping away at it slowly, to give Breakdown time to settle in. Before heading out as per usual. Except instead of going to the event hall like usual he headed back to the medbay.

 

Upon entry it was dark and quiet. Knock Out could barely see anything at all outside the halo of light the tree provided. The bright little lights were more of a nuisance than a benefit anyways as they kept alternating between blinding him and preventing his optics from adjusting their ambient light settings.

 

There was the outline of a shadow nestled in the chair, as expected. Knock Out quietly picked his way through the dark medbay. With a stroke of whimsy the medic ran the last two steps, hopped up, and swung around to plop into the chair right on top of the previous occupant.

 

It wasn’t Breakdown. At this point Knock Out wasn’t even surprised, he’d half expected it honestly.

 

What was definitely not expecting was to find himself shoulder to shoulder with the scarred, blue opticked, face of their former autobot prisoner.

 

For a long moment they just stared at each other in shock. Then Knock Out exploded into motion he swung around to face the white mech properly, weapons onlining. Before he could jam a buzz saw into the autobot’s neck strong hands clamped around his forearms and pulled them down and outwards throwing him off balance.

 

“Woah now, slow your roll Doc.” The autobot’s tone positively emanated humor. Rude.

 

Knock Out attempted to jerk away to no avail. They were chassis to chassis now with his hands held in a vicelike grip on the outside of the chair arms. He vented a harsh burst of hot air at his captor, “What are you doing here wrecker?” He spat

 

“I’m not who you think I am.” Wheeljack (not wheeljack?) chuckled in response.

 

Knock Out squinted suspiciously. There was only one thing the mech could possibly mean by that, but the real question was would the real Wheeljack be bullheaded enough to waltz around the nemesis claiming to be Makeshift? Of course he would. He’s a wrecker. “Oh i’m sorry. What are you doing here,  _impostor_?” he stressed the last word in a droll tone. At least that way it applied no matter who it was.

 

“I’m waitin’ for you.”

 

The medic rolled his optics, “If you’re waiting for me why did you look so surprised to see me?”

 

Wheeljack offered a roguish grin, “I expected to see a doctor, y’know at a normal distance. Not get a lapful of this.”

 

Knock Out jumped when he felt a servo smooth over his waist, “Hey!” he tried to shy away but the confines of the chair  didn’t allow for much movement. He huffed indignantly. At very least there was no shortage of interesting patients in this job posting. He initiated a partial visual scan. Coming up empty he addressed the white mech directly, “Why do you need to see me?”

 

“Can’t scan new modes or transform.” Wheeljack shrugged

 

“T-cog damage?”

 

“Haven’t been in any scraps serious enough for that.”

 

“I’ll have to run a full diagnostic scan. It’s probably a programming issue.” Knock Out leaned up to peek over the back of the chair looking for the proper equipment.

 

“tsk tsk, Red. You forgetting something?” Wheeljack chided.

 

Knock out flashed the wrecker a questioning glance. He was pointing up. Knock Out followed the line straight up to the mistletoe. Of course. “My, my, you planned this didn’t you?” Knock Out tapped a finger one his free servo on the multi colored chassis playfully.

 

“Maybe.” the wrecker looked far too pleased with himself, “Maybe I wanted that big strong partner of yours.”

 

Knock Out scoffed and leaned in capturing those smirking lips. The kiss was everything one might expect. His lips were rough and Knock Out could feel the pull of the scar tissue, it was pleasant in a rugged sort of way. The medic skimmed his fingers over the plating in front of him feeling the dents and scratches.

They separated after a few nanokliks. “Are you going to let me get up now?”

 

The wrecker cocked an optic ridge, “‘Let you’? I’m not keeping you here.” Confusion overtook Knock Out’s face, wheeljack continued, “You never asked.”

 

\---

 

Much later Breakdown entered the medbay to find the lights on and Knock Out hunched over a patient. Odd, Breakdown thought, lately he rarely worked on the off cycle.

 

Knock Out had identified the problem pretty quickly. It was indeed a programming issue. Somehow two protocols had conflicted and now the transformation sequence wouldn’t launch. The doctor was busy writing up a code to sort out the problem. Meanwhile Makeshift - confirmed by medical records- lay in recharge on the medical berth. It was agreed that solving his issue as fast as possible was the safest option for the mech.

 

The red mech acknowledged his assistant’s arrival with a quick wave and continued his work.

 

“Hey doc, what’s this?”

 

Knock Out turned away from his work with a heavy sigh, “What’s what?”

 

Breakdown was standing beside his chair peering up at the little sprig of greenery.

 

Mistletoe. Breakdown. Breakdown under mistletoe.

 

Knock Out launched himself at breakdown with such force they both toppled over, taking the chair with them. They landed in a tangle with a loud clang and a startled yelp. Before Breakdown could even get a coherent word out Knock Out planted his lips right on his assistant’s in a smothering kiss.

 

When he pulled away Breakdown laughed, “What was that for?”

 

“It’s mistletoe.” Knock Out announced triumphantly, “You kiss under it.”

 

“Well, yeah I know that. But why’s it in here.” Breakdown offered an amused smile.

 

“I’ve been trying to get you under it all day!”

 

“If you wanted a kiss all you had to do was ask.”

 

“It’s not the same...”

  
The blue mech laughed again and pulled his partner in for a second kiss. 

**Author's Note:**

> In case you didn’t notice or haven’t read my other stories, I’m pretty much ignoring the vast majority of the timeline. I like a lot of the decepticons but I sort of had to disregard some canon to get Dreadwing and Shockwave on the ship at the same time. In this fic we’re pretending Makeshift is slightly less blown up than he actually is.
> 
> Also I definitely considered making makeshift be Knock Out because that would be hilarious. But I went with Jackie in the end.


End file.
